Sunday, January 11, 2009

Why mirrors were invented

I think I am finally becoming more use to the Midwestern cold winter. Don't get me wrong, I don't like the cold but I'm use to it. When going places that I know will have a heater on full blast I only wear a hoodie on the way there. Wearing a jacket usually means lots of sweating or taking it off and carrying it when you get inside and when your carting 22 pounds of uncooperative baby, the last thing you need is something that makes you sweat and exercise even more. Relaxing in our house is even a lot of work. For example a night trying to relax usually looks a lot like this - mama lays on the floor to rest and watch a tv, baby crawls over and pulls up on mama, baby decides to walk, baby falls, mama ( and daddy) get(s) up to comfort said screaming writhing baby, mama rocks, sooths, and comforts baby all while trying to locate bump on back of dramatic baby's head, baby suddenly is fine and wants DOWN, mama lays back on the floor to resume show, baby heads for his room to play, mama hears loud banging and unidentifiable noises, mama RUNS to room to find baby sitting in the middle of his once sorted put away clothes, mama puts away clothes while baby simultaneously throws them out of dresser, baby walks to daddy bored with the clothes, baby falls and hits head. Do I need to say more? Who needs a gym when you have a very active almost one year old. McHottie and I get worn out just watching Baby Blue dash around out house like an overconfident puppy.
The winters are difficult in many ways and one reason is dry skin. Any exposed skin gets dried out including lips, for that reason we buy a lot of chap stick and I mean ALOT. And I swear every time I turn around we have none. My parents always use to say no matter how many pens they bought there was never a single one to be found. Well that's our problem with chap stick. Either Boris is taking them as revenge on his mean owners or we have a chap stick monster. I never ever can find one when I need it.
New years Eve I was standing in line buying last minute supplies for our party, while standing there I was hunting thru my purse trying to find my chap stick. none. Desperate I grabbed lip gloss, it was a double sided kind and I had always used the pale glossy side but I guess I was feeling adventurous. I rarely ever wear bright colors on my lips but hey it was new years after all, I told myself to live a little! I put on the Double Bubble pink side. No mirror- just put it on, who uses a mirror to put lip gloss on anyways? Psshh I KNOW where my lips are. I slathered that gorgeous pink color on ( really it was pretty) and then it was my turn in line. I was checking out and chatting with the lady behind me who kept looking at my lips while we talked and the more she looked at them the more they started feeling tighter and tighter. Like something was really really drying them out. I started having this desperate feeling that something just wasn't right but how on earth do you find a mirror in your purse, when you cant find any thing in there anyways, all while keeping you baby from eating your wallet, typing in your pin number in and pretending that whatever is wrong of course I intended to look like that! Instead of stopping to check I just made a beeline for my car and was getting some second looks and smirks. The wind was so strong and that drying sensation was so bad by the time I got to the car that I no longer thought something was wrong, I knew it. For sure. I got Baby Blue in the car and out of the frigid cold and looked in the mirror. Double Bubble clown. Words cannot describe just how bad it was. I was absolutely horrified. I have always had fuller lips and for that very reason I usually don't wear dark or bright lipstick and also because I prefer to know when my lips look like they should have their own zip code. This wasn't just bright it was a weird DRY. Apparently that beautiful bright pink was actually a lip stain and it must- I repeat- MUST be worn with the shiny step 2 side. It wasn't until after the fact that I noticed both sides of the lip gloss had tiny tiny print that said step 1 and step 2. Clearly I missed that part. Step 1 and step 2 isn't a suggestion it was a matter of shiny pink lips or weird haunt your dreams double bubble the clown bad.
This week its suppose to get back into the frigids and I need to go grocery shop to stock up stuff so we don't have to make any emergency formula - or chap stick- runs when there is snow and ice on everything.


Heidi said...

Tasha, thanks for the good laugh. Monday's are always a great day to get a pick-me-up by way of someone else's misfortune! LOL! I totally agree about the chapstick thing, but I KNOW where mine go. My one year old steals them, hides them and eats them. (at least until I find him and throw out whats left of the beat up tube...) Buy stock in them or something...our high tomorrow? 5 I guess I should be happy it's 5 ABOVE, right?

Mrs. Nichole J. said...

OH MY! I totaly knew where this was going when you said it was double sided and the lady kept staring at you!
Remeber when the mom went into tim's work with lipstick on her check as blush but forgot to "rub it in???" HAHAHA Thats so totaly a MOMENT!

Loved it! hehe And even though your lips might need a zip code they are still pretty! Specialy when ya smile. :-D

Love ya!

rebekah kamin said...

psh. i wouldnt trade for your lips any day :)

haha jk.

way to make you feel special, huh.

Grandpa said...

Great story Taz, your a scream! Stay warm n' keep those gorgeous zip code lips protected!

God Bless, love ya,

Heidi said...

Hey Tasha! still laughing about your little lip "episode"! I was wondering if you would ask Beth P and your sis Bekah to send me an invite to their blog....I used to check them but they're private now? thanks...